It ALL matters

When I was in the early stages of my Joy Journey, I remember very distinctly discussing with my counselor how nothing I was doing seemed to be working. I was reading my Bible on a daily basis. I was praying every day. I was worshiping at every possible opportunity–whether I felt like worshiping or not. I was going to church. I was spending time in fellowship with other believers. I was doing one Bible study after another. I was seeking God with ALL my heart, soul, mind, and strength. But in those days, I didn’t feel as if anything was working, I felt as I was going backwards rather than forwards in my healing. I was lost and wondered if I was doomed to be depressed and miserable–in a constant fog–in my dark cave–forever.

Have you ever been there? 

In spite of being so deep into my dark cave, I determined to stay with it–to continue on my Joy Journey regardless of how I FELT. 

As I am coming out on the other side of my journey into the light and out of the darkness, I want to tell you that every little thing you are doing to hang on to your faith is working–is meaningful–is making a difference–whether you FEEL as if it is or not. 

We all know that it’s the little things that matter in our relationships, especially with our spouses. I don’t need for my husband to go out and reserve a fancy hotel room, take me to a fancy steakhouse, or pay for a horse and buggy carriage ride through the park in order for him to be romantic. When he comes home with a Hershey’s with Almonds, I want to kiss him all over! When he does the dishes or cooks supper because I’ve just been too busy to get to them, he makes me feel special. 

I am here to encourage you, my friends. Don’t give up. Don’t let the enemy take your joy or convince you that God isn’t hearing your prayers. My Bible says that THE MOMENT we begin praying, God begins answering our prayers. Sometimes He answers and restores us immediately. Praise the Lord for those of you who experience that immediate restoration. Appreciate it and tell God how much you appreciate it. Show Him.

But sometimes God takes some of us on a journey to get to our

healing and restoration–to a place of Joy. Don’t be discouraged in the journey. Keep trusting Him. Keep giving whatever you are able to give Him regardless of whether you FEEL like it or not.

He is faithful and He WILL restore you! He will bring you through so that you can come out of the darkness and into the light. Don’t give up. One step at a time….one foot in front of the other….one Bible verse….one prayer….one worship song….one hour in fellowship with other believers….stay the course….fight the good fight of faith…run.

Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

Evidence of the Reality of God

*Warning: this is going to be VERY personal. Please read with love and understanding.*

Three short years ago, I thought my little family was finished. I honestly believed that a few short months after Christmas would see an end to my marriage. James and I had come to a place of being roommates rather than husband and wife. We had separated for a few weeks and I was DONE. I had decided I did not want to deal with our problems any more. I had come to a place where my anger towards my husband was so severe, NOTHING he did was right or good enough. EVERYTHING he did ticked me off and made me want to punch him in the throat. I was ready to walk away from my marriage and never look back–without any regrets.

I did not buy James a single present for Christmas. Samuel did, but I didn’t. James got me something that he wanted and that only made me angry because it was what he wanted rather than something I wanted. I didn’t even want James in the house let alone have him present while Samuel opened his Christmas presents that I had gotten for him.

Even my family back east did not want him anywhere near them. He was told that he was unwelcome at my parents’ family gathering for Christmas. 

I will not apologize for my honesty. Every word in the truth and then some. It really was even worse than I am describing.

But God had other plans. I want you to know that it is ONLY by His grace and mercy that my family is not only together this Christmas, but that we are enjoying being together. As I watched my husband and son opening their presents earlier this evening, I was filled with overwhelming love for them both and great JOY at the fact that we are spending this special time TOGETHER.

I have not missed the Christmas miracle of these moments this year. God has restored my marriage–my family. No, things are not perfect between James and me, but I no longer hate him; I no longer want to punch him the throat just because he walks by; I no longer think that every single thing he does is wrong. I like being around him. He actually makes me laugh again. 

If you need any evidence of the reality of God, who He is, and of what He has done for us, look no further than at His Restoration of my little family. I am in awe as I sit here looking at the pictures we took tonight and how wonderful our time together has been this Christmas compared to just a short time ago. 

My prayer this Christmas is that you will all see–find–the true JOY of Jesus Christ and KNOW that He is REAL and He continues to work miracles in our lives–not just “Christmas” miracles–but miracles.

Thank you, Jesus!

Works Cited

Shen, Jean. “Series 1: Healing of Wounds of the Bride and Growing Intimacy with the Lord.” Invitation to His Garden. Prophetic Art. Web. 6 Sept. 2014. .